In March 2020, another woman gave birth to our son in Nevada, 2,226 miles away from our home in Florida.
The battle to get to that day began six years earlier, and involved diagnoses of infertility, multiple rounds of in vitro fertilization, two devastating miscarriages, and six failed embryo transfers. After all of that heartbreak, our doctor recommended we use a gestational surrogate to carry our baby for us. (A “gestational surrogate” has no genetic connection with the baby she is carrying.)
The decision to use a surrogate was heavy, and initially, filled me with anxiety. It involved tons of research into the legal, medical, financial, and emotional implications of using a surrogate. The step of interviewing agencies, doctors, and attorneys based throughout the country to assist in our surrogacy became a full-time job for me, in addition to my already demanding job as a litigator. Although I had amazing support from my husband, family, and close friends, I remember feeling very isolated then, as we did not know anyone who had ever used a surrogate to build their family.
We chose an amazing woman who lived in Las Vegas to be our surrogate. Kayla was already a mother to her own two children, a wife, teacher, and an experienced surrogate who had previously delivered twins – a literal angel on Earth.
The surrogacy journey took longer than expected with more losses. Finally, the third transfer worked, and Kayla was pregnant with our son! We racked up an insane number of airline miles flying back and forth to Las Vegas for appointments, but I didn’t want to miss a single chance to hear his heartbeat or see him wiggling on a scan. He was born five weeks early, but was happy and healthy! The first time I held him, I felt the heaviness I had been carrying for the last six years melt away. My husband and I jumped into our long-anticipated roles as Daddy and Mama.
Our journey to our son was beautiful – a number of things had to fall into place for our exact child to come into our lives, and for that, the struggles will always unquestionably be worth it.
After going through that experience, I knew that I wanted to help others build their families. In 2023 especially, families come in all shapes and sizes. By sharing my story, I hope to expand and further normalize the conversation that all paths to parenthood are beautiful.
In practicing law in the areas of Surrogacy and Assisted Reproductive Technologies, I aim to be a powerful and empathetic advocate for those desiring to form their families through surrogacy or through egg, sperm, or embryo donation. Reach out to us today to learn how we can help.